Will Smith-Jada Pinkett-Smith Separate?
andersholmvik: I hope it’s not true. But if it is? Someone needs to tell Jada they don’t call power brokers “The Queenmaker”. TEAM JADA!
There’s a real Office Space vibe in the TAC offices today, like a DJ remix of nothing interesting. There’s what I’m looking at, the light overhead. Hear the HUM of electricity as your base track. I don’t have a tape recorder, so I’m just going to write down the sounds I hear, starting… now. my fingers typing phone rings adam breaths Huuu. Huuu....
Been listening to a LOT of Neil Young lately.
The Ders Report: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! →
andersholmvik: I’VE KILLED AGAIN! STEVIE RAY VAUGHN, I’M SORRY! WHAT CURSED FUTURE IS MY DESTINY?!!?! The suit’s nice, I can’t deny that, but… I’d give it back if it meant you were still with us. I know I said mean things about you, like you were an STD factory, or that you shouldn’t be allowed in the house,… Ders, you can’t blame yourself. You musn’t. You didn’t...
sariefitzgerie asked: I'm going as Paula for Halloween this year, so I've been going through her YouTube videos to get a head start on perfecting her accent. I found this little gem called "Paula Deen Burps Y'all" (I'd link you, but Tumblr won't let me.) YouTube it. Your dream lady's culinary masterpieces backfire on her.. and it's hilarious. The slo-mo is the cherry on top.
No apples, guys. Sorry. I thought I saw some this morning, but I bet Waymond already snagged them. He’s probably not even eating them, just hoarding for the weekend. I caught him hustling the corpse of a six-foot sub into his trunk after Clint’s birthday last year. Guess it’s for the best, I didn’t have any candles, either. Maybe next Friday.
I love Anthony Bourdain and his show No Reservations, but he really crossed the line with these comments. I just hope Paula doesn’t see this.
Lady Jillian's Help-a-Scopes (Part 3)
Lady Jillian is going to keep sending these to me, apparently. Great. I was going to write about X-Force today, but, well, here you go. ——————————————————————————————————— Lady...
A Peace Offering
There has been a feud simmering between Ders and me ever since I posted my review of a foreign film. Then he got mad and tried to one up me and then I discovered that he plagiarized his review and I called him out on it. It’s becoming pretty stressful at our cubicle and there’s some really bad energy this afternoon. That’s why I took the initiative to squash our beef and get...
Ders, I really enjoyed your post about “The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie.” It was very well - written and informative. Unfortunately, there was just one little problem… IT WAS PLAGIARIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That “review” of yours was suspiciously good, so I copied and pasted a section of it into my Google search and it turns out that you just copied the...
From the Desk of HomeGirl
Seems like the Tumblr’s are starting to catch some fire in the office. HomeGirl sent this to me after reading Lady Jillian’s Help-a-Scopes, and to be fair I wanted to include her message as a counterpoint. She sent this to me directly and I’m reprinting it as is, FYI. Greetings all organized satanic rituals are the lifeblood of the devil, and the satanic arts have no place...
Camp DeMamp: Open Call Out to Ders →
adamdemamp: Ders, No one buys into your fancy words hiding the fact that you want to host a big time good time at our abood. A rose, by any other name, would be as raging, Ders. Remember this guy? This guy just wanted to ride in that Escalade and go nuts. He wanted to rip the trunk off the elephant… Adam, I think it’s time you stopped saying “Rip the trunk off the...
Lady Jillian's Help-a-Scopes (Part 2)
The lovely (and mysterious) Lady Jillian has been touched by the spirits again, sending me the latest batch of her horoscopes. I don’t think these names are right, but when I asked her, she told me, “The moons have realigned so that there are no classic signs anymore… I but am a medium for their classification…” She kept talking for a good 10 minutes after that, but...
The Ders Report: Theme Party - Like Adam's, But... →
andersholmvik: You may have read Adam’s theme party ideas. If not, see his “list” here: http://adamdemamp.tumblr.com/ Adam incorrectly stated that I was against the idea of a theme party, which couldn’t be further from the truth. What I’m against is the idea of a random “costume” party wrapped up in a… Put me down for Heaven and Hell, I got a devil’s outfit I’ve been waiting...
An Interesting Bumper Sticker
Saw this on a car on the way to work today and it really got me thinking. Why is it so much more difficult for polite, well behaved women to make a name for themselves? I remember watching “Roseanne” when I was a kid and even though the show was funny, Roseanne always scared me because she was so loud and mean all the time. I consider myself a feminist and I am confident enough...
I Did It, AGAIN!
I am on ROLL, first I figure out the Die Hard 3 water jug puzzle, then this afternoon I’m in the men’s room and mid-piss I figured out another movie puzzle that’s been bothering me for years. This one was hard because they never GIVE YOU the answer in the movie; they left it open, like the ending of Cast Away or that sandwich I made with the last piece of bread. It was before...